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This week I came back from my work’s quarterly meeting at the headquarters in Austin. Per usual, it was a great time. Connecting with the other sales reps and seeing people from all the other departments, getting company updates, and having team builders that bring it all together for the start of a new quarter and to celebrate the past one.
One of the things that really resonated with me this time around was a particular happy hour that was dedicated to #bossmoms.
What is a boss mom you ask? Well, generally speaking, that is all of us moms out here in the world, but for the moms of the working world, it indicates those of us that are not only holding down the fort at home, but bringing home the bread and butter. In this respect, at our company in particular, it is a hashtag that makes you feel seen and makes you feel like you a part of a tribe of women that know what it is like to feel all the aspects of motherhood.
Now, this happy hour had it all—wine, cheese, and a panel of different women with different stories of their journeys of motherhood. Whether it was a traditional mother, a crunchy mom, an adoptive mom, a foster mom, a stepmom: all of us were in a room where we all had a commonality that soon surfaced— mom guilt.
Mom guilt is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. I felt it hit home hard the first time I took my son to daycare after my maternity leave ended. I remember taking him out of the car, dropping him off, and just sobbing all the way to my work. When I got to work, I remember the feeling of being alone in a crowd. I knew there were other moms amongst me, but it had become commonplace not to be the whiner, the weak looking one, the one that looks the most not like a mom to signify your worth as an employee. I remember wondering to myself, why? Why must I hide the fact that I was still getting it together or that I missed my child? Why did I need to prove my worth by how much I kept silent about my family life? In time, I moved on from the company and worked from home quietly taking care of my son and struggling to find the right balance for me.
I never knew that there were other moms like me during those times. I never really knew that other boss moms, working moms, didn’t have everything together, because we were determined to look flawless.
Sitting there in that room, I now knew that the way we acted on the outside did not necessarily reflect what we felt on the inside. Each mother at my workplace had a unique and different story of their motherhood journey, and as we continued to share and reflect and drink and eat— we connected. I believe that in any workplace, that there are mothers, fathers, parents that just need to be seen, to know that they are not the only ones trying to figure it out and that work and home life balance is not something that comes easy for anyone, not even the CEO. One of the best parts of our meeting was that we have now continued our conversations outside those doors. We have dedicated a new slack channel specific to all us #bossmoms and even our supporters as well, meaning that we do not aim to just be a tribe of just moms, but we included everyone.
Not all workplaces will support parents, especially moms, and that is a shame. In a time where equality is so important, I hope to see many others come to show kindness like my workplace has done. Until then, remember moms of all walks of life can always find their tribe through Corpus Christi Moms and other like them.
See you out there fellow #bossmoms.
