Reflections of a Just-Turned-50 Mom

I recently reached a milestone in life.  A monumental birthday.  Over the hill.  The big 5-o.  The big one.  Yea.  That’s me.  I hadn’t even made it a whole week into 50-land and AARP was already mailing me registration forms.  {Envision a very dramatic eye-roll right about here.}  I distinctly remember turning 40 was not a pretty sight.  I didn’t like it.  I didn’t want it.  And I made my husband promise not to throw me a party with all the black balloons and crepe paper.  He obliged my teary-eyed plea.   If memory serves me correctly, in a private moment, I even had a big, ugly cry in the closet.

I approached fifty in a much calmer fashion.  The turning in to this new decade has me looking at life a bit differently, but certainly not with a dark cloud hanging over my head.  I’m somewhat surprised by that, because the reality is, I’m not a spring chicken anymore.  But the bigger reality is, I don’t feel fifty.  The calendar shows it.  My drivers license shows it.  My birth certificate shows it.  But I don’t feel it.  And according to the public opinion of some, I don’t look it.  And I’m happy about that.  I’m not going to let some silly number control me.  Fifty, I here-by vow to control you!

So, what have I accomplished in this one-half century of time that I’ve been on earth?   Ummm, hmmmm, welllll.  Fifty years really has gone by but it feels sorta like I went to sleep at sixteen and woke up at fifty!  Wasn’t I just trudging home from school in the snow wishing we lived far enough from school to be able to ride the bus?  Wasn’t I just walking the stage at graduation, excited about what life was going to bring my way?  Wasn’t I just holding my first born son, staring at him in awe and so grateful that God gave him to me?  Yes, it feels like I was just doing all those things.

I’m a wife.  I’m a mom.  I’m a grandmother.  I’ve been an administrative assistant in five different offices in my career, trying to give my best to whoever I served at the time.  I’m a wanna-be writer.  I’m a crafter and a gardener.  I’m a caretaker of donkey’s, rabbits and chickens.  I’m a homeschool mom.  I’m a Christian woman who loves God.

I’m beyond proud to have grown children who have blessed me with babies to love because being a Meme’ is one of my most favorite things in the world, second to my desire to be a mommy.  I am so stink’n proud of all my children and who they have become.  I know I played a role in that, and yes, I’m gonna take some of that credit.  I didn’t do it by myself, of course, but I did love them and give them the best of me I had to give.

I’m proud to be married to my husband of twelve years and venturing into a new journey as a pastor’s wife. I can honestly say that God really does have a sense of humor when He pulled that one on us.  We all know He calls the unqualified to fulfill His tasks.  I’m quite certain He dug pretty deep for this one…

I’m proud to be fifty!  Fifty is, after all, the new thirty!  Isn’t it?  I can’t wait to see what life has to offer as I work on the next century!  What might it have in store?  More grand babies to love and snuggle?  A new hobby or sport to learn?  Improving on my health in order to hold on to that not feeling fifty feeling…

Have you gotten to embrace turning fifty?  Were you spouting it with joy or hiding in the closet giving in to the ugly cry?

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