Tween Years are the Worst!

I struggle with the tween years the most. They break little pieces of my heart and scare me.

These are the years where I see my daughter’s childhood innocence slipping into a mature understanding of the world around her. Those moments where it clicks are wonderful. But it is also scary for me to not be able to hide the ugly in the world from her. She is aware of the hatred and the pain in the world. Yet, she is also aware of love and compassion.

I long for the days when I was all she needed, all she wanted. Those days when keeping all the ugly in the world away from her was easy. I long for the days where a booboo after falling down was the worst pain she would ever feel, when tears she shed weren’t caused by another person.

Some days I look at my daughter and never know which child I am going to get. She still likes Monster High and Littlest Pet Shop. She also has the mature understanding to find Star Trek and Doctor Who quite entertaining.

These are the moments where you can see how hard she is juggling the awkward phase in between a young child and a young lady.

As parents, we juggle the phases of letting go and holding on. That is where I am right now, juggling all my thoughts and feelings and trying my best to guide her, teach her, and help her spread strong wings to fly.

This journey has made me feel alone. People have made me feel bad for my feelings about my daughter growing up. Losing the little girl who is still my whole world, though I am not hers, may just be one of the most painfully beautiful seasons in our life.

I know that I have to accept this season. I have to be thankful for the years that I have left and not dwell on the years time left behind.

This may be a tough season for me, but I know that with dignity, grace, love and faith we will both see our way through it.