Self-love costs nothing and you gain everything.
A couple of months ago one of my best girlfriends texted me and asked if I would like for her and another one of our friends to come down soon, for some much needed girl time. I instantly replied, “YES!” Then… my heart sank. It would be the first time I would spend the night away from my son. My thoughts started racing, “How would I handle that? Would he be okay without me?!”
I just sat there imagining him. Would he wonder where I was? Would he think I was never coming back. Okay, so, maybe I’m a little dramatic, but isn’t every mama entitled to endless and melodramatic worry when it comes to her children?!
A couple of weeks passed, and we packed up the car with our suitcases and beach supplies, and got on the road. I felt weird. What was going on? I forgot something. I glanced around, and realized the thing that I had “forgotten” was my child. I took a deep breath and told myself that I was fine. It was going to be okay, but I didn’t know what to do with myself. There was no one to sing to, or reassure that, yes, I was still in the front seat driving, and no, you are not alone. My hands felt weird, maybe because they weren’t doing anything for the first time in 10 months? I gave myself a pep talk, “You deserve this. It’s okay to relax.” Wow, that did the trick, y’all. I let myself sink into the glorious noise of my girlfriends chatting away and the girl power song that was playing in the background.
Why do we, as moms, feel this way? Why do we sometimes feel guilty for taking a little bit of time for ourselves?
In an article published by Forbes, business and women’s leadership writer Jenna Goudreau writes that “the tenth annual Mom’s Salary survey found that moms should be charging $115,000 a year for their work.” Say what?! Maybe this is why we feel guilty. We are constantly going, going, and going some more, and when we finally get the chance to rest, it feels so... wrong. Now don’t get me wrong, in no way am I complaining about motherhood. I cherish each moment that I spend with my little wild thing; I know that I am extremely blessed to call him mine. My point is that we moms don’t know how to love ourselves. We don’t recognize that giving ourselves some love actually makes us better mommies, better wives, and better people in general.
Sunday morning came around and I popped out of bed and immediately Face Timed my husband to talk to little man. Guess what? He was perfectly fine; we both had survived.
In the week that followed, I felt so refreshed. I had more patience, and I took more time to actually focus on my son and husband. The experience made me realize what I noted above, that giving myself some self-love is so worth it, and that my whole family benefited from it.
What do you do with the time you make for yourself? If you need some ideas, I gathered some activities that my mama friends do when they take time for themselves. Check out the list below.
- Take a drive alone, with the radio cranked up
- Go to a movie and enjoy a snack, without having to share it!
- Take a bath, don’t forget to lock the door!
- Do a face mask or paint your nails
- Hide your phone and just be
- Reorganize cabinets/closets
- Rearrange furniture
- Bake something from scratch
- Go to the grocery store alone
- Get a longer workout in than usual
- Go to a restaurant that your kids don’t enjoy