The Myth of Finding Balance

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Balance… I’ve been asked about how I balance it all.

I asked myself for over a year how I can balance it all. I have four kids six years old and under, my husband is a youth pastor so we’re pretty involved in our church, and I have my own doTERRA business that I dedicate time towards regularly.

I’m starting to think that balance is like a unicorn. It sounds nice, it looks pretty, but it just doesn’t exist… at least, most of our perspectives of balance don’t exist.

You know what I’m talking about, right? Picture a visual image of scales and whatever your scales may be labeled “Home Life,” “Work-Life,” “Church Life,” “Blogging Life,” etc.. We want all the scales to be perfectly balanced all the time, and truthfully that just doesn’t happen. I know I can hear the gasps right now, but to say I have found the “perfect balance” would be a lie. I’ve learned to live out of balance, which has in a sense become my balance.

Let me continue.

Everyone’s “balance” looks different.

Some days it’s playing on the floor with my kids all day, making awesome meals and folding clothes. Total mom hustle. My “Home Life” scale is full and “Work-Life” scale gets smaller that day. Other days my husband watches the kids, I’m in back to back meetings all day, and we eat frozen pizza. Total business hustle. My “Work-Life” scale is full, and “Home Life” scale decreases that day… but it doesn’t stay that way. It’s a total back and forth, continuous tipping of the scales.

My balance of home life and business life is just a constant imbalance of both.

There are days dedicated to playing with my kids, and simply being focused on family time. Other days are totally and completely dedicated to my business. So, from the outside looking in, it can seem that I am out of balance… but I’ve never felt more balanced before in my life.

I think there are two secrets to the balancing act.

The first secret is scheduling.

I like to schedule out my month with my husband, so we know certain times or dates that I’ll be working out of the home. This eliminates confusion and gives me peace to know when my time can be fully devoted to our home or our business. 

The second secret is being fully present.

Whether I’m at home or working outside of the home, I need to be fully present at the task at hand. I don’t want my kids’ memories of me to be home but stuck in front of a computer or my phone all day. I want them to remember me putting together their Paw Patrol puzzles, or letting them help make smoothies in the kitchen. On the other hand, when I am working, I know I can be fully present in that because my husband (my biggest supporter) is off doing fun things with the kids that I wouldn’t dare attempt to do on my own. Y’all, this man is so brave, he has taken ALL four kids to the aquarium at one time BY HIMSELF. I can be fully present because I know the kids are taken care of and they know I love them, even when I’m not in the home.

So, schedule out your month in advance, be fully present, and go live out your balance! Your balance doesn’t have to look like mine, and mine doesn’t have to look like yours. Do what works for you and your family, and let’s support one another in the process.

What other tips do you have about balancing your home and work life?

1 COMMENT

  1. Awesome thoughts! I’m really struggling with this right now. Too many irons in the fire and don’t feel balanced.

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