My Life as a Young, Single Mom

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I had my first child at the ripe old age of eighteen. I went to my senior prom, pregnant. I walked across the stage and accepted my high school diploma, pregnant. I remember my high school principal, handing me my diploma, looking me in the eyes, and saying, “Everything IS going to be ok.”

I never wanted to believe anything more in my life.

My first son, Blake, was born roughly three months later. While all of my friends were getting ready to move to college, I was having baby showers and preparing to be a mother. I was scared. I was ashamed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was a cheerleader and a track star. I had colleges interested in giving me track scholarships at the end of my junior year. I went to church… a lot… three times a week to be exact.  But here I was… pregnant and terrified.

My parents took the news much like you would expect, with a combination of fear, sadness, and disappointment. I made it known right away that I had no desire to get married or put the baby up for adoption. My parents (reluctantly, I’m sure) said they would support my decision. Honestly, that whole summer is now a blur to me… I don’t remember much.

Then, my baby was born. I immediately fell in love with him.

Sure, I was still scared that I had no idea what I was doing, but the fear didn’t seem as overwhelming to me anymore. Luckily, I was still living at home so knowing my own mother was just right across the hall, gave me much comfort. However, it was me that got up with my son at night, not my mother. Now, I know she would have, had I asked, but I didn’t. I was determined to make the best out of the situation I found myself in.

I got a job waiting tables at night so I didn’t have to pay for daycare. I was so lucky to have the help of many people… some family and some friends. That church I mentioned earlier? I had been attending since I was about two years old… some of those people had known me for my whole life.

Those people rallied around me and were so supportive…even throwing me a HUGE baby shower where I received everything (and more!) that I needed for my new baby. 

It was a tough mindset to navigate. You naturally want to be a carefree, young adult with limited responsibilities. If there’s ever a time to be selfish, it’s this time. But I couldn’t. I had a whole other human being counting on me to cloth him, feed him, and most importantly, love him. So that’s what I did.  I like to say we raised each other. I feel he taught me just as much, if not more than I did him.

I’ve been asked before how I would react if one of my own kids find themselves in this predicament. Well… I would love them and be supportive. But let’s hope I don’t ever have to write a blog about THAT.

Statistically, my story could have been a nightmare… and it’s not lost on me that a lot of young girls do not have the support that I was so fortunate to have. My son is now a college graduate and an amazing young man with a heart of gold. While it is not exactly the route I would have chosen for my life, I do not regret a second and feel it has made me the person I am today.

So… if you find yourself being a single parent right out of the gate, or maybe later in life…I see you. I salute you. I raise my glass to you! Cheers!

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