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Do you catch yourself wishing your little one was still a newborn cuddled in your arms? Or are you dreaming of future days when your children can walk or talk or just make their own lunches? It is in our nature as mothers to look back at certain stages of our children’s lives lovingly and longingly. To remember how sweet a new baby feels asleep on your chest or adorable they are when wobbling around learning to walk, how much they need you at certain stages and how much joy you experienced just watching them sleep or eat or play. It is also in our nature to look ahead to future stages and how some things may get easier when children learn how to walk, talk, brush their own teeth, no longer wear diapers, etc. I am extremely guilty of both, but I am here to encourage you (and me) to focus on your current stage(s).
I was listening to a few moms talk the other day about their children’s schedules– school drop-off and pick-up, after-school activity chaos, and never ending homework. I became concerned. I have often thought wistfully about when my boys will be in school full-time, and I could have the opportunity to go back to work or find a significant volunteer opportunity. A more-established routine would open up my world a little bit to pursue some of the dreams that took a backseat when I had children. All I saw in our future was more freedom for myself– I didn’t consider the increase in schedule obligations. With two children more than likely with varied sports and academic interests and an ER-physician husband working irregular hours, our schedule will be crazy. I get anxious just thinking about it.
At the same time, I still look forward to the stage when our youngest is capable of going for longer hikes and handling longer road trips. Then we can start to expand our daily activity and travel options while no longer being limited by naptime and a toddler’s attention span. But (and it’s a big but) this mindset takes me from this moment NOW– the memories we could be creating now with their current skills and interests.
Our children are only in their current stage for a short moment. The way they speak or mispronounce words, the way they play pretend, and how they dance to their favorite songs. It all changes so fast, and if you don’t soak it in when it’s happening, you can miss it.
I won’t deny that I miss rocking my boys as newborns and listening to baby coos. However, I do NOT miss our son’s witching hour and nightly crying around dinnertime nor do I miss life before sleep training. My boys are 4 years old and 18 months old, and I am learning to be thankful for THIS stage. We are not bound by a school schedule yet and have complete freedom to travel during the week. My eldest attends preschool three days a week, which allows me rare solo time with our youngest. Next year he will probably join his brother in some type of preschool so these are special days. My husband’s schedule is always changing, and he is often off work during the normal work week. We have the ability to take family vacations midweek or just plan a fun family day in town when everyone else is in school or at work.
Rather than focusing on what we (and they) can’t do right now, I want to focus on what we CAN do.
We can attend a turtle release at the Padre Island National Seashore on a random Thursday morning. We can take a last minute trip to Austin to stay with my in-laws on a Tuesday. If my husband is off work, we can head to Port Aransas post-nap on a Wednesday afternoon to practice bikes and scooters at the skate park and enjoy dinner on the waterfront. In these stages We have utter flexibility that honestly decreases once they start school. My flexibility and freedom may increase, but our daily adventures as a family are limited to nights and weekends.
So I am choosing to embrace this moment. To create new memories in this moment. Yes, I miss many things about newborns and the baby stage, and I will always look forward to the older kid moments ahead, but today, I will focus on enjoying our current adventure.
How do you stay in the moment with your kids?
