I consider myself a pretty private person. I don’t open up to many people about my private life, feelings, etc. However, I have written this blog so many times in my head, that I felt the universe was telling me I had to put it in print.
We moved to Corpus Christi in January 2017 from Austin. I know… what a change. My husband and I were both born and raised in Ft. Worth, but had been in Austin for almost fifteen years. So I spent most of my adult life in Austin.
When we made the move to Austin, I was leaving behind my entire family and support system that I had depended on to help me with my son. Being a single mom, I couldn’t have done it without them and never imagined I would leave that behind. I remember it being sad, but I was excited for the new opportunity to live somewhere new. That was August of 2002.
Over the course of the next fifteen years, I met many great friends and surrounded myself with an amazing community of women… my “tribe.” We helped with each other’s kids, had fun girls’ nights, worked out together, served on the PTA together… all of it. It was amazing and a huge sense of comfort for me. I hated to leave that behind. I kept telling myself, I would make new friends. I would make new friends. I WOULD MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
When I moved to Corpus Christi, the first several months were extremely rough. I was lonely. My kids were at a new school and seemed to be making friends quickly… which I was so happy about. For me, it was a different story.
I was so involved at their last school… PTA president, thank you very much. Now, I knew no one and was very hesitant to put myself out there. I kept telling myself, I was going to give it time, get settled, and then get involved. Truth be told, I was sad. This wasn’t our “old” school. These weren’t my “old” friends. There were many days, it was all I could do to get my kids to school with a smile on my face, just to go back home, crawl into bed, and just be sad.
We chose to rent a house and get the feel of the city before buying… which was totally smart… but hard to feel “settled” in a home you don’t own and where you know you won’t be staying. I met some people and tried to get involved. But, I would always come home with a huge lump in my throat and an ache in my heart. I missed my “people.”
I had worked out at least six days a week before the move and absolutely loved where I worked out and all the people there. Now, I had no desire to move. I was becoming a shell of the person I used to be. Social media became an emotional landmine for me… while I was so grateful to see everyone’s lives and “stay in touch”, major FOMO would set in. For those who don’t know, FOMO stands for “fear of missing out.” It was as if, my old world just continued on without me… which, of course it did. I just didn’t anticipate how bad it would hurt to watch.
We bought a house at the end of September and I could instantly feel myself starting to heal. I love our neighborhood and it was more like where we lived in Austin… lots of families and kids riding their bikes. I started meeting more people and realized what I had been doing wrong.
I was looking for my old life in my new one. I was looking for my old friends in each new person I met…instead of getting to know them for the wonderful new friends that they could become.
I feel myself feeling better about our new life and new opportunity every day.
I wanted to share this for two reasons: First, I thought it would be very therapeutic… and I was right. Second, there may be someone who reads it who is going through something similar and feeling the same way.