Every other Wednesday I am fortunate to get two hours of time with a wonderful group of moms. During this time my 2 year old daughter attends “school.” As we were leaving the other day there was a young mom in front of me. Around one side of her body was a small boy excitedly skipping down the hall, on the other was an even smaller boy carrying a gigantic laminated poster, at least twice his size, and continually tripping over said poster. I watched sympathetically as the mother became increasingly frustrated with the younger boy who was becoming with every stumble more and more adamant about his desire to carry the poster. At the end of the hall the boys split, one went left and the other darted right towards to door. She noticed me behind her and apologized for her kids. I told her she had nothing to apologize for and asked how far apart her boys were. Her answer was one I expected. “18 months.” I looked at her, smiled and responded “it gets easier.”
My kids are 18 months apart. I know this is no great feat, I have friends whose kids are closer in age or have multiple children under the age of three, and I take my hat of to them. For me, it was at times challenging. When my husband and I were discussing child number 2 an 18 month gap sounded ideal. I hoped my kids could be close. There is a 5, 8 and 10 year gap between me and my siblings and I was envious of their closeness. We were incredibly fortunate to have our children in the window which I had deemed “ideal.” It only took me a few weeks to realize that maybe I had been incredibly short sighted.
What had I done? Why did I think 2 under 2 was a good idea? How do I leave the house with two babies? Why did I think I could do this alone? Why can’t my family live in this country? Why don’t kids start school at 2? Why am I such a control freak that I can’t trust someone with my teeny tiny baby girl so I can go back to to work? Why did I assume the second baby would be the same as the first? What possesses a small child to decide that the best time to throw a ball directly at you is when you are feeding your newborn? When you have a newborn, you nap when they nap, why doesn’t your 18 month old understand this concept?”
So many questions, so little sleep. It got worse when my daughter became mobile. I would take them to a play place and my daughter would crawl in one direction and my son would sprint in the other. I apologize to anyone I inadvertently whacked with a small child I had just hauled off the floor while chasing the more mobile one. The kids and I entered a required lockdown period when my daughter started walking. My poor husband would walk into the house ad I would shout “the kids are yours” and disappear into my bedroom for even just 10 minutes to collect my thoughts and chill out. I thought I was going insane.
Then one day it suddenly changed. Around the time my daughter turned 18 months and my son was 3 we entered a new “phase.”
The kids became inseparable. My son was now the big brother I had hoped he would be, he would take his sister’s hand in public to make sure she didn’t run away, they would both listen to me at play places, they could both help me cook, and they would play together in their toy room. My daughter even started to sleep, it was fantastic!
Now, here we are, my daughter will be 3 in April. I would not change anything for the world. Yes, that first 18 months was an adjustment, but in the grand scheme of things, it was a brief moment of time. Now I find myself asking why do kids need to go to school at 5? I can wait a little longer for my babies to grow up.
So, to any moms out there pulling their hair out, hang in there, it gets significantly easier. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and its a bright one.
[pinterest image_url=”https://coastalbend.momcollective.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Pin_-My-kids-are-close-in-age.png” count=”horizontal”]
Your kiddos will be close their whole lives! What a great gift you’ve given them — the gift of siblings.
Mine are spaced 3 years apart … it wasn’t “planned” it just happened. I love their closeness.
Can’t wait to hear more adventures
such a great post! it is so hard when they’re little, but the closeness will be appreciated. my two older boys are 25 months apart, and that was hard on me at first. but now they are such great friend-brothers. i love it. my third boy is almost 4 years behind the middle, and i ache for him somewhat. but i’m sure the “bigs” will always have his back, as well.
Mine are 17 months apart, two boys. I agree whole heartedly that it got so hard when my younger became mobile. And now they are 1.5 and 3 and it is as you describe as well. They play together, my older helps with his little brother by holding his hand and reminding him of the rules. It’s so sweet and so worth it.
Comments are closed.