I know what you are thinking… “Wow, she has set her ambitions really high…NOT!”, but hear me out. I am a 34 year old mom who has spent her life afraid of EVERYTHING. I am a chicken and a hypochondriac (If you don’t believe me, check out this blog post)
I’ve spent my whole life never really enjoying the actual moments I am in, but instead spending my time worrying about the “what ifs.” And to be quite honest, those “what ifs” usually never happened, but I still spent the countless hours stressing about them. Hours I will never get back!
God has blessed me with two healthy, handsome and totally opposite sons! My older one, who is 7, is cursed with an anxious demeanor like mine. He is pretty much my carbon copy when it comes to personality. We both are worriers, see the negative first in all situations, and are huge complainers. (Sorry, my dear husband, you get 2 for the price of 1!) Luckily for my oldest, he did get a lot of my hubby’s traits, too. He can sing, loves the outdoors, is adorable and handsome, and has a good sense of humor. (Although, I’d like to say I helped contribute to that too!) Our youngest son, who is 2, however, is the complete opposite. He is a party animal. In fact, I’m already putting in prayers to the big man upstairs for his teenage years. My youngest son smiles constantly and always has a good time, no matter where he is. He’s happy go lucky and not afraid of anything. This is the thing that worries me the most (see, there I go worrying again!) but also has me envious. We joke that when he grows up he will be the “Hold my beer and watch this!” guy (see why I’m already praying!) when our oldest will be the one spouting off statistics to why drinking is a bad idea. It truly does take all kinds to make the world go ’round, doesn’t it?
Oh, what it would be like to have fun and enjoy life! He is 2 and a half and already has done more exciting things than I feel like I have at 34. But I don’t want to hold him back. In fact, as much as it freaks me out inside, I encourage him to try things, within reason! Just this last weekend at the Frio River, he jumped (with a little assistance from me) from a rock cliff about 8 feet high into a deep part of the river. He did it twice and would have done it a whole lot more had I let him. I on the other hand, had to build up the courage to do it, and once I did. I didn’t want to do it again… but at least I tried it, right?
When we drive by carnivals or theme parks and he sees the rides, he excitedly yells he wants to go on them. Given the chance, I 100% believe he would do it! I on the other hand, break out in cold sweats worrying that the ride may break, spiral out of control and launch me into orbit. People are always telling me how fun and brave he is. Two awesome, but scary traits for a 2 year old! Traits, I wish this 34 scaredy cat naturally possessed!
I may never be labeled as brave, exciting, or fearless. Sometimes I wonder if I am even fun. But as long as I have my little sidekick, he will keep me on my toes and break me out of my comfort zone! (Thank God for that, I need a little fun in this sad, scary world!) Because let me tell you, I can’t handle the heckling I get when he does something that I am too afraid to do, especially since he is only 2!