Boys: The World Needs Them

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On March 8th, a lot of people posted about International Women’s Day. In all honesty, I am not very familiar with ALL the details of this day. I have never experienced oppression first hand. Never have I been denied service or been treated differently just because I am a woman. However, I do know there was a time when women didn’t have the same rights as men. It was legal to beat us and we didn’t have the right to vote. Before you hate me for what I’m about to say, please know I AM glad women before us were strong, determined, and fought for our right to be treated like the human beings that we have always been.

The pendulum needed to find it’s way to the middle. Women had to push it hard to get it there. It worries me, however, that the pendulum has sung a bit too far. Being a mom of four boys, three of which I get to raise into men, I don’t like where it is going. The idea that women don’t need a man is one of the scariest ones out there. Not because I think women should need men, but because of the message that idea sends to men. “You are NOT needed.” “You bring nothing to the table.” “There is nothing you do that I cannot do so I don’t need you.” No wonder so many of them are living up exactly to the message they have been hearing loud and clear.

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I have been married for almost 9 years. In that time, I have come to understand that what we all need to be is whole people if we want to be have good quality relationships. What I’ve discovered is that men and women, we need each other. Not in a codependent, unhealthy way, or in a way that belittles either one, but in the way peanut butter needs jelly to compliment it, not to drown it away.

We, by design, have different strengths, abilities, our brains are wired different. The world needs both sides to keep going round! 

So here are 5 things that I want my boys to know and I hope moms of girls will tell them about boys too!

  • You are strong. Use your strength to help others, including women. Never use it to hurt someone unless you are defending who you love. Women are strong in different ways, but the strength you have is unique and the world needs it!
  • You are needed. The world needs what you have to offer, not because you’re a boy, but because you are a uniquely designed human being with lots and lots to offer!
  • You are smart. Don’t believe the message you are so often fed. Men are NOT dumb. You are as capable as any other person of making smart choices and building a wonderful life.
  • You are unique. The only thing ALL men have in common is that they are men. Don’t ever let anyone put you in a box with labels of what you should or shouldn’t be. Be yourself!
  • You are kind. Men don’t have to be jerks (like stereotypes suggest.) Offer your seat, open the door, offer your coat, not because you think you are better or because you think the other person is unable, but because you are kind! The world needs more kindness!

Let’s stop telling boys and men that we don’t need them and let’s figure out a way to become a team. We can work together to make this a better world. Everybody’s life would be enriched if we stop competing and we start collaborating together. Even those proclaiming they don’t need men, NEEDED a woman AND a man to come to existence. That is just a fact!

In our efforts to empower girls (which are commendable) let’s not leave our boys behind.

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Paulina
Paulina was born and raised in Mexico City. She married her husband, Bruce, in 2009 down in Mexico and at the begining of 2010 they moved to the States. Together they have 4 boys: Evan in Heaven, Ethan 6, Jason 5, and Jackson 3. They moved to the Coastal Bend 2.5 years ago to open Snowie Bus of Corpus Christi. They homeschool the kids and live a very laid back life. They dream of full-time traveling sometime in the not too distant future. Paulina has recently discovered a love of woodworking and kind of accidentally started Coy Woodworks. She also LOVES Netflix, sleeping, slow mornings, unbusy schedules, coffee, Audible, and being indoors! She is an introvert at heart and can spend days at a time at home with no need to go anywhere. The boys not much so she is always on the look out for fun activities and adventures!

2 COMMENTS

  1. YES! As a fellow boymom, I fight the stereotypes of the dumb man, the brutish man and the useless man. My sons will become MEN, not baby-daddies. They are called to be whole, contributing human beings. Just like women are.

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