People can arrive at adoption in many different ways. For us, it was through infertility. After years of testing, failed treatments, and what seemed like endless disappointments, we were ready to look into adoption. The overwhelming part was deciding whether to adopt through the foster care system or to adopt through a private agency. When we began the process I knew little about where to start.
We were told that adopting a newborn or even a child under five was virtually impossible through the foster care system, so we headed in the direction of using a domestic newborn adoption agency. Since the adoption of our two children, we have become foster parents, and my eyes have been opened to the possibilities of adopting through the foster care system.
Adoption through the foster care system
Adoption through the foster care system or a private agency is a long drawn out process. It begins with a homestudy, which involves extensive interviews, background checks, reference checks, and home inspections. This is then followed by 50 hours of training sessions which explain the fostering process, the documentation required for each child, how to support a child in the foster care system, family contact, reimbursements from the state, and CPR and First Aid training. It may seem overwhelming, but I actually enjoyed the classes. The material is informative. When the checks and homestudy are complete you will be “open.” You have complete control over the children you can and cannot have in your house. This includes the age of the child, the needs of the child, and the number of children you are willing to foster. You can work with your agency and caseworker to decide what is most suitable for you. 
With regards to contact with birth families, some families will have visitation with their children some will not. Your caseworker can talk you through each individual case. You may be able to learn the family medical history. There is more monitoring when adoption is carried out through the foster care system. The child will have a case worker from your agency, a caseworker from DFPS, and sometimes a CASA worker. Expect lots of people in and out your home checking on the welfare of the child in your care.
I do not want to go into too much detail or I would be here for hours, but with regards to the adoption process, children become available for adoption 6 months after the termination of parental rights. Some parents will terminate those rights immediately. Others can wait years. Some kids will be returned to their parents after years in the system. Again, your caseworker will have an idea of the intended outcome for each child when they call you initially.
There is no way to truly know for certain what the outcome will be, but I know as long as those kids are in my home, they will be spoiled and allowed to enjoy life as a child, whether that be for 48 hours, 6 months or 3 years.
Domestic infant adoption though a private agency
Domestic newborn adoption is a business. There are large nationwide agencies who specialize in fulfilling the dreams of infertile couples all over the U.S., and there are smaller local not-for-profit agencies that provide a similar service. Newborn adoption is a different world from adoption through the foster care system. To begin with, the cost is significantly more. The average newborn adoption is now around $35,000. In contrast to the foster care system where children are matched with families by DFPS caseworkers, birthmothers choose from stacks of potential families. A brochure is created to explain to a birthmother what you can offer their unborn child, essentially, a sales brochure to differentiate you from the hundreds of other couples out there. Hopefully, a relationship is formed between the birthparents and the adoptive parents. There are ultrasound pictures and weekly updates. If you are fortunate, there can be an almost surrogate relationship between the birthmother and the adoptive family. Adoption now is considerably more open than it ever has been, contact is encouraged. It is in the benefit of the child. The adoptive family will be able to answer questions that they may not have been able to in the past.
The homestudy, the training classes and background checks are very similar to the foster care system. It takes about the same amount of time as the foster care system checks do. With regards to termination of parental rights. The length of time after birth varies by state. In Texas, rights cannot be signed away until 48 hours after the birth of the baby. They can be relinquished for 10 days after they are signed.
Having lived through it, those first 48 hours and then the following ten days are the most nerve wracking terrifying days of my life thus far.
After the revocation period is over, there is usually a 6 month wait until you can file to officially adopt the child. During this time your agency will conduct home visits and you will update them on the development of the baby. After the 6 month period you will appear in court and the adoption will be finalized.
There is truly no right or wrong way to go about building a family through adoption. For some people private agency newborn adoption will be the best fit, for others it will be the foster care system. Regardless of what path is chosen you will be giving a child the security of a safe and loving home. We have been incredibly blessed to welcome two newborns into our home through domestic newborn adoption and now we are pursing potential adoption through the foster care system.
Please feel free to comment below with any questions, I would be happy to help.
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, we are dedicated to raising awareness and educating our community about the varying types of infertility and the many options available. Our hope is that this series opens, provides inspiration, and moves us all to a deeper sense of compassion. So, please join us as real local moms open up and share their stories all throughout the week.
Read more Infertility Awareness stories and perspectives from Corpus Christi area moms.
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