When mom has surgery | The unexpected anxiety kicks in

I’m sitting here on my couch right now trying to take it easy.

Last week I had to have laparoscopic surgery.

One might think that I would be nervous about that, but the unexpected way I was anxious was what I have started to call my ‘mom anxiety’. Without going into too much personal details I will say I was having some issues of the feminine nature. In order to take care of it my OB/GYN had to go in to fix the problem. Basically, a robotic looking device the doctor uses to help make thin incisions in your abdomen. I had a large cyst and one of my ovaries taken out. That alone didn’t even freak me out. Any given day my brain is riddled with a thousand ways my day will get thrown off balance, but for some reason when it’s important I flip a switch and I’m like “I got this.”

Even leading up to my surgery I was dealing with financial issues (insurance only pays so much) and the day before they were trying to tell me that the anesthesia wasn’t going to be covered by my insurance. I almost had to reschedule but thank God for my take charge nurse she called the hospital and talked to them, they said they would use one that is covered by my insurance.

The night before surgery, my mom got sick and was in the hospital. I made sure I had family members who would be able to check in on her for me. Yes, I was stressed, but I knew I could handle it. I did the whole night before surgery thing, they give you antibacterial wash to shower with. I made a list of things my husband needed to do while I was at the hospital. Even it was just day surgery, I finally felt that pang of anxiety that was patiently waiting to kick in.   

                                             

What started to worry me wasn’t all the big things that had happened, but the little things during and after that needed to be done. Things that I usually do.

• Would my daughter get to school on time?
• Would anyone remember to feed my dog?
• Will someone throw out the trash?
• Are the dishes going to sit there in the sink?
• Who’s going to watch my nephew?
• Is anyone going to remember to check on my mom?
• Can my husband fix my daughter’s hair, right?

A thousand little things worried me instead of the fact that I just spent all this money to have a “robot” cut into my insides. I can’t explain it except by calling it my ‘mom anxiety’, sometimes it’s worse than my regular anxiety, or maybe they are just taking turns? I had to take a minute to breathe and have faith that everything would be just fine.

In the end I realized I had nothing to worry about, my husband helped me taking care of everything while I’ve been on the mend. I’m working on trying to relax instead of worrying about things that I can’t control. Do any of you worry about the small things like I do? How do you cope?