So yesterday, around noon, a friend of mine shared an article on Facebook.

This particular article was published by Fox news and told the breaking story of a huge scandal involving parents that have allegedly been “buying” their children’s admission in to prestige Universities.

I read the article, was immediately overwhelmed with the desire to get my thoughts out, so I quickly grabbed my laptop.

Upon finishing this quick “stream of thought writing process”,  I needed to fact check and verify.

I googled to verify the source (I never, ever, ever rely on only one news outlet for my information), and I was overwhelmed with all of the information pouring out of the internet. It has not stopped since. 

According to Alan Dershowitz, Harvard Law Professor Emeritus, “This is really one of the great scandals of the 21st Century.” 

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I have a problem with this on so many levels.

First of all, according the story, it wasn’t like these parents were philanthropists and donating money to build a library or theatre or something useful. It is so much worse. They allegedly have been paying off test administrators, athletic coaches, and therapists to cheat these students’ way in to college.

Shut the front door.

As a former teacher, I am disheartened. We spend a very good amount of time every day not just teaching our content, but trying to mold and encourage our students into honest, responsible, accountable, functional adults. That is the goal, right?

As a mom, I am disheartened.

How are we supposed to raise capable adults that will thrive and give back to our communities, if we, as parents, aren’t teaching personal responsibility, are fighting their fights for them, and throwing money at things so they can CHEAT their way in?

What kind of example are we setting for our children? That money is always the answer? That you don’t have to work hard because mommy and daddy will handle it. When did we stop allowing our children to grow up? Bless.

Y’all….full disclosure:

My 12 year old son is L.A.Z.Y. He got a 65 in Math last six weeks. A SIXTY-FIVE. That is NOT PASSING.

I cannot even tell you how bummed I was. I cannot even tell you how much it hurts my educator heart to see him have a complete lack of care and responsibility for school. I cannot even tell you how I don’t even understand that mentality. #boysareweird 😉

But you know what?

He DESERVED that grade. That is what he ACHIEVED.

I will not ask his teacher for extra credit. I will not ask his teacher to give him the benefit of the doubt. I will not ask his teacher to lower her expectations because he chose to turn in the majority of his work late. I will not ask her, or anyone else, to make excuses for him or make up lies that give him more time. No ma’am.

That is on HIM.

As parents, we stayed on him with reminders and questions about homework, we checked his grades in the online portal (side note: of the work he actually did and turned in, he made mostly A’s and B’s. He is a bright kid.) We asked about late work, we helped him organize, we enrolled him in math tutoring. I sent one email to his teacher to make sure that he was understanding the content: her response was that he is smart and capable. He goofs off and just doesn’t turn in work…and even that sometimes the work was actually DONE he just doesn’t turn it in. Sigh. #12yearoldsaretheworst

I am struggling with this like crazy because education is SO important to me. I hate that he has a D on his report card. A D that will forever be ingrained my psyche.

But you know what? Maybe, just maybe, because we didn’t fight this battle for him – because we are *hopefully* teaching him to be accountable for his actions – maybe this is a lesson he will learn right now. As a sixth grader. When the grade itself doesn’t really matter – but the hard work, responsibility, and accountability lessons that we are aiming to teach will last for a lifetime. And we are *hopefully* teaching him that INTEGRITY matters.

I love my children more than anything and I am FAR from a perfect parent. I have made all the mistakes and I have failed him regularly. I have babied him, I have made excuses for him, I have coddled him, I have helicopter parented him. And I am certain that all of the parents involved in this scandal felt the same way: they just want what is best for their children.

I am disappointed for everyone involved in this scandal. I am disappointed for the students whose parents cheated their way in: they will never know for sure if they were good enough to achieve on their own. I am disappointed for the parents who didn’t have enough faith in their children and who missed opportunities to teach their nearly adult children how to handle rejection if they didn’t get in to their first school choice. And I am REALLY disappointed for the students who worked hard, made the grades, did the work and applied on their own, but didn’t get a place at the school of choice because someone else took their Freshman spot as a result of cheating and bribery.

Because at the end of the day – and what I want my son to learn – almost more than anything –

is that integrity matters.