Managing the Emotions of Terrible Twos

What are the terrible twos?

 

Listen guys. I have heard the term terrible twos about a million times, AND. I. HATE. IT. It implies that things magically get easier with time. They don’t. They change and you adapt, but what are the terrible twos and what can we do about it?

 

**Disclaimer** I am not telling you how to parent, just maybe remind you of a few things.

 

Is it hitting?

Is it screaming?

Is it demands?

Is it frustration from being unable to communicate effectively?

Is it ridiculous emotional meltdowns in the middle of H-E-B that effectively make you decide to forever use curbside? 

 

Honestly, who knows, maybe it’s all those things. In my personal opinion I feel like a lot of it has to do with frustration. All we do is tell them no, and you can’t do that, and put that down. Sometimes we forget that they are just babies and that they have to learn OVER TIME how to control their emotions when they’re upset. Even as an adult I still struggle with my emotions from time to time, so how can I expect my two year old to manage themselves perfectly 24/7? By no means am I saying that we shouldn’t discipline our children because how else do they learn? All I am saying is that we shouldn’t expect them to be perfect ALL the time. When they have a good day, PRAISE THEM. Praise them like it’s nobody’s business! When they have a bad day, talk to them, love them, hold them, and tell them that everyone makes mistakes and that everything is going to be okay. Tell them that they have such a big brain and that big brain allows them to do big things! If punishment is necessary, DO. IT. But, remember that we are all imperfect, and struggle. Adults, adolescents, and toddlers alike. LOOK, I am not telling how to parent, I am just telling you that I have noticed when I don’t let my anger get the best of me, my child’s emotions don’t seem so
extreme. When we end the night on a good note, it makes bedtime easier, and they wake up in a better mood. This in and of itself makes my job as the parent one billion times easier. I am not perfect, and I am trying my hardest to teach my girls that that’s okay. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you’re willing to accept when you’ve done wrong and try your best next time. I think a lot of toddlers get a bad rap for being in their terrible twos  or for being too emotional (my own included), but they truly are like blank canvases that we get to mold into our own vision. I try to be intentional with teching my girls about emotions, and when we can do instead. The idea of the Time in toolkit from Generation Mindful is really kind of amazing. I, admittedly, don’t use all of the tools they give you, but I try to be intentional with my emotions and helping my toddler manage hers.

 

PRO TIP: Once you realize that there is no such thing as the terrible twos life gets easier. You don’t expect it to get better. You just expect it to change. You grow, adapt, and change with time as your littles are able to manage their emotions themselves.