Every day that goes by there is a question on my mind. This one little question comes regardless of the way my life is going or the way others’ lives are going.
After my second round of IVF, we were a bit pessimistic that any of the embryos would make it through the freezing process. Yet to our surprise and glee, 11 of them did. 11!!
Having already made it through 2 successful pregnancies, I was beginning to think that two was a good number for us. Maybe, instead of another kid, we’d just get another pet! That’d be enough, right? But now, a year has gone by since our second daughter was born and and I’m starting to think I can truly handle it, and maybe even WANT to do it again.
I did everything I had to do to get these babies and the little embryos. There were things I don’t want to get into now, in this blog (but don’t worry, all legal – I promise.)
For the last two months, I have undergone different tests to see if my body can even handle another pregnancy, and by extension, the drugs that are necessary… not to mention their plethora of side effects.
Unfortunately, it seems that due to my first and second rounds of IVF, there has been liver damage. Certain enzyme levels are higher than normal. I thought maybe it was my crazy college days, drinking religiously and eating horribly, that would have caused some effects. But, nope! It was IVF and all the fancy drugs I can barely pronounce.
I am going this coming month to my last blood test to check up on my liver. If I get the okay that means another baby or babies could be in our future… or does it?
With our two (amazing) kids and everything else on my plate, I admit it’s hard. We have a great support system, too. Yet sometimes I feel ugly, fat, and drained. It’s not pretty, I must say. My energy levels are tapped. I’m stressed to the point of wanting to pull my hair out most days.
Then I see and hear my eldest daughter say, “I love you Mommy.” My heart melts. What can be better than that? Someone to love in our lives puts hope in all the madness. It also doesn’t help (or hurt?) that during the summer we start seeing the baby bumps coming out and that little green dude by the name of Baby Fever rears his head.
