Passionate About the Coastal Bend
and the Moms Who Live Here

Knowing When to Step In, and When to Step Back

What is your tipping point? 

We recently started a new school. I am not a big fan of change, so these past few weeks have been challenging. There have been all sorts of things to learn and navigate in a pretty quick timeframe – new routines, new schedules, new teachers, new kids.  

Here are my standard replies to each and every one of our afternoon conversations so far with Monster #2 as he shares his day with me:

“He called you a what?” (Insert font that represents appalled.)

“He did what?” (Bold the font that represents appalled.)

“They said what?” (Bold and capitalize the font that represents appalled.) When to step in and when to step back- bullying- lonely

I should say what?

No really, what should I say?

The first few stories I listen, and I “ummhmmm” at his natural conversation pauses. I ask what he thinks he could or should do if it happens again.  We are well into our school year and while the offending actions change from day to day or week to week, it seems the actors are the same.

The school uses a PBS (positive behavior system,) which can headline it’s own blog. It highlights the good, the bad and the ugly of your monster’s weekly choices. I’m not braggin’ but my monster has zero “marks” and lots of stickers in his chart.  Maybe he just didn’t get caught yet, but for now I work on the assumption, he follows the rules established by the school and the teachers.

I do not know the actors, nor do I know their parents, so I am left with less options. I believe in letting him work through things on his own at school, but when is enough enough?

Helicopter v. Free Range  perspecticles

There is a happy medium between these two parenting titles, but I don’t know if it has a catchy label yet. It certainly describes how I strive to parent.

I know how I would react, Helicopter Style.

I know how I would react Free Range Style.

But I cannot craft an appropriate reaction for the middle ground here. My gut for now is telling me to hang on, and give it a little more time.  So, I will follow that instinct and see what the next few weeks bring.

In the meantime, I need new perspectacles. (yep, that is perspective and spectacles wordmashed. Thank you Momastery).  

Tell me, what is your parenting style in these situations?

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