There is something that I need to confess. I suffer from mom guilt. See, my story is a little different. I sometimes feel guilty about the life that my family lives. Being a military family has its own struggles, which leads to a whole new set of guilt.
I could list all of them out for you, but nobody has time for that. Although, I will start by sharing with you the guilt that I have to work through on a daily basis. The truth sets you free right?
Some days I feel guilty that my daughter will never really have a home. She won’t have roots because we move too often. She won’t have an answer to the question, “where are you from?”. Is it where you were born? Where you lived last? Or the place you liked the most?
Helping me work through that guilt is knowing that her eyes are opened. She will learn and live in different cultures and communities. That means she will have an open mind. Differences don’t make you different. They make you, you!
The guilt that comes from uprooting her, moving her away from friends and family. Don’t get me started on that. She has said goodbye to more friends in her short 11 years than most people do in 18 years. Those tears break me every time. That pain is one I cannot make go away. No amount of letters and Facetime bring you hugs when you need them the most.
You know what helps? I have come to realize that she will learn to make friends faster. Moving didn’t give her the heart that she has, but it does help. She will learn faster to be the kind of friend that she wants to have.
There are times that I feel awful when I see that she is treated differently. Teachers treat her differently, which is not always bad. Kids treat her differently, because they don’t understand. Coaches, neighbors, and everyone in between. Dad being deployed leaves people not knowing what to say.
The military life won’t bring her down, because she is resilient. She will be stronger for when the time comes to go off to college, because she will know her strength. The ability to deal with constant changes will leave her a little more wiser, therefore preparing her for whats to come.