From the moment I found out about my first pregnancy, I could not wait to breastfeed my baby. I told my husband even before we planned to have kids, that when we did have children, I had my heart set on breastfeeding.
Luckily, he was fully supportive of my decision and was very helpful in finding out as much information as possible to get us ready for the adventure.
The one thing that I never realized would happen…
After 4.5 years of breastfeeding…
My boobs are GONE! Disappeared! Like, every time my baby nursed for that liquid gold, it took a piece of boob tissue with them, never to return!
After all this time, you would have thought I might have prevented this issue with tips, tricks, and whatever else people have come up with. Nope. I didn’t. Honestly, I didn’t care at the time either, because my nursing infant had taken over and I forgot that I had my own life and body.
Now, let me be super clear ahead of time. I would never trade my breastfeeding experience for anything. Also, if and when we plan to have more children… I plan to breastfeed them as well. There are so many benefits, if you are able to. And for my family, the good out-ways the bad. The bad just happen to be saggy, deflated “babas,” as my daughter calls them. Which makes sense. Afterall, when breastfeeding, there are many things the baby does to get their milk.
A few things include: pinching, punching, scratching and mashing the “baba.” Some of these beatings are because the baby is trying to get milk as fast as possible, which makes complete sense for a tiny infant. But as my kids got a little older, nursing became less of a “need” for nutrients and more for comfort. My children wanted to nurse, but got bored during nursing sessions, and it is definitely “fun” entertainment to see mom squirm.
Because I went from nursing my son until he was 2.5 years old straight into nursing my daughter… until now 2 years old – and still nursing at night… my chest has been through the ringer.
I do not have nice perky boobs that look great in different kinds clothing. I have tons of trouble finding decent shirts where my chest doesn’t look like its apart of my mom tummy.
Going from a B cup before kids, to a D cup during pregnancy and nursing (very nice I might add!) to a D cup that hangs to my knees (Ok, huge exaggeration!) sometimes I don’t feel the best about myself and what my chest has become.
While a mother breastfeeds, the milk makes room inside of the breast area to feed the baby. Before your body regulates to the child, you get a surplus of milk. When you nurse, your breasts get smaller and when you make more milk they get bigger. So over the years, my breast got smaller and bigger a bazillion times! Hence, they are saggy… and deflated… and there are some stretch marks.
People look and would probably say, “what are you talking about?! You have boobs!” Yes, my friend, I do have boobs. That as soon as you take your bra off, they hit the floor. (Ok, another EXTREME exaggeration!) They just aren’t what I had known them to be for the longest time. Some would say that if I’m not ok with my chest it can easily be fixed. But surgical procedures are just not for me unless it is an emergency. So, I will learn to live with my new self, and to love my new self.
I have body issues. Certain parts of my body have changed in ways that I never thought they would. My husband tells me I’m beautiful and my kids love me unconditionally, but it is just one of those things that bothers me.
Some days I’m all for my “mom bod” and own it with pride. Other days are tougher, and it’s a struggle to even want to dress in something nice. But I look at my 2 very beautiful children (little bias?) and know that every stretch mark, every fat roll, every pain in my back, and even my not so great mom breasts were worth every change my body has made.
I may not be perfect in my own eyes, but my children see me as a role model. I am the most important woman in their lives. I must love me and show them that I love myself. So, Mommas out there… love yourself! Show those babies that it doesn’t matter your size or your little imperfections because the love you have for yourself and for your babies is what matters most.
Saggy Boobs or not… 😉